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The Roadmap for Effective Listening

What are your Challenges to Listening?

Last night I was sitting on my living room couch in front of a beautifully warm fire.  I had my laptop on my lap and my kitty cat “Chatty” is sleeping beside me.  If you had been sitting with me, I don’t think that we would have any challenges to listening.  And why is that?  Well for one thing there were virtually no distractions.  It was also quiet.  You and I could have sat with each other without interruption and really hear what the other is saying.  So what is it about my living room that is different than your office or the boardroom? How can you replicate this place for excellent listening in your daily lives?

I group the challenges we face in listening into three groups: distractions, interruptions and the speed of life. 

Distractions – The dictionary defines distraction as “that which distracts, divides the attention, or prevents concentration”.  This sounds a lot like what happens when we are distracted from listening.  Someone walks into your office with information that you really want and need but you can’t listen well because you are distracted.  What are those distractions?  They can be the papers on your desk, your computer monitor, the clock, basically anything that can catch your eye and cause you to deviate from listening to the person in front of you.  The best way to keep from getting distracted is to maintain eye contact with the person or people you are trying to listen to.  Another way to keep from getting distracted is to take notes.  Write down key words that help keep you focused. So you ask, Natalie what do I do if I am on the phone?  I honestly find that closing my eyes helps me listen better when I am on the phone.  Taking notes again is a great way to maintain your focus on what you are listening too.  Plus, writing down those key words will help you remember later what was most important about your conversation.  Distractions can really hamper our ability to listen.  By making these small changes you can listen more effectively. 

Interruptions – I don’t think we need a definition of what an interruption is.  We are constantly interrupted throughout our workday.  Interruptions are anything that breaks your concentration and causes you to stop or change what you are doing.  Some interruptions include the phone, alarms on your watch or your computer and a person or people wanting your attention and time.  It is obvious that interruptions make listening a challenge, but what can we do about them?  With your phone you can put it on silent or “manner mode”.  If it is your office phone you can turn the ringer on low or off.  (Just don’t forget to check your messages!)  Lastly, put your computer volume on mute or low.  Taking these simple steps can really go a long way to help you listen more effectively whether you have someone sitting across your desk, you are on your phone or you are working on a project.

Speed of life – There isn’t a dictionary definition for this and this phrase definitely means many different things to different people.  In our complex business environment we are constantly being asked to do more with less – less time, less money and less resources.  All of these factors contribute to the speed of life and the speed at which we conduct our business.  We often feel as though we have to be more succinct, more concise and say all that we have to say quickly and effectively.  At times this can cause us to not provide all of the needed information.  This may also cause those we are working with to be less likely to ask questions to get the clarity they need to move forward.  As business continues to move more quickly, we need to take the time to set the context for what we are trying to accomplish by giving all of the necessary information.  This is called being responsible of others listening.  Using the 5 W’s – who, what, when, where and why plus how is a great way to make sure you are giving all of the information people need to move forward.  Additionally, taking an extra 60 seconds to ask if there are any questions and answering them fully will make those you are working with feel truly listened to.  The speed of life and business isn’t slowing down, but using the 5 W’s and answering clarifying questions are a good way to mitigate the speed of life while being responsible for others listening.

As I promised you last week, click here for the Top Ten Tips for Effective Listening: "Effective Listening for Leaders Top Ten Tips"

On a personal note, my two terrific daughters have told me the reason we have such a good relationship is that I really listen.  They told me that when they were teenagers.  We used to sit on the kitchen floor till all hours of the nights talking.  One of those wonderful daughters had her bridal shower in NH this past weekend.  Next week I will have a great “listening” story to share with you. 

Could you use some support in your listening?  Give us a call at 800-66-3320 or email us at Success@NatalieManor.com. We’d love to be a resource for you and your organization.

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, Natalie Manor & Associates

, Natalie Manor & Associates is an organization of consultants, corporate trainers and executive coaching professionals who provide measurable results for our clients in the areas of Leadership, Communication, Strategic Planning and Cultural Development.  To inquire about ’s executive coaching, speaking, customized training, facilitations and seminars for your group or organization, or to schedule an initial consultation, contact us at: Success@NatalieManor.com

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U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1529-059X
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