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The Roadmap for Effective Listening

1. A Note from Natalie Manor

I sure hope all of you are well.  Almost our entire office was “down for the count” with the flu bug this past week.  We have two offices, one in TN and one in NH so this is one strong flu bug that can travel that many miles.  I highly recommend bed rest, fluids and someone to whine to while you are getting better.

I want to share a perfect example of a highly successful leader recognizing that her listening skills need to be revisited.  Pam called me last week after she received our last listening newsletter.  Pam said that our “listening themed” weekly newsletter emails are interesting, but she was pretty sure they did not apply to her.  She is already successful, why even worry about her key leadership skills.  She answered her own question before I could say a word. 

Pam was curious about her listening skills so she decided to check in with her long term admin, her husband (that takes courage) and her best customer regarding her listening skills.  Each shared information with her she did not like.  They told her that she consistently interrupts them while they were speaking, but because she delivered such great results that they rarely said anything.  Her husband did not say “results”, but the fact that she ALWAYS provided the family with what they needed, he did not feel he could say anything about the interrupting. 

Interrupting someone while they are speaking is definitely a very solid signal you are not listening.  If people let you get away with it it becomes a habit.  Interrupting someone is a signal that you know what they are going to say; are thinking ahead to what is next; disregarding the substance of their comments and do not care what they are saying.  None of that is listening.  

Pam doesn’t want to be a poor listener.  She wants to be highly successful in all aspects of her communication with others.  So I did a short, but powerful coaching session with her using the following focused coaching questions: 

1. If you are so successful, what about their feedback bothers you?

2. What would you like to do about your interrupting other people?

3. What about being a better listener do you think would serve you, your family and your clients?

4. How will you measure your success in becoming a better listener?

5. What will you do differently in order to be a better listener and to stop interrupting?

I love coaching.  It gets to the heart of the matter without spending lots of time on reviewing the things that we are doing “wrong”.  It helps us move very quickly and clearly into the mode of doing what is most important for ourselves and those we are trying to serve. 

By the way, I currently have 2 openings in my coaching schedule and that rarely happens.  So if you are thinking about using a coach to help you hone your leadership skills and begin to plot a Roadmap to your very extraordinary life, I would be delighted to have a conversation with you.  Send me an email at   CoachNatalie@NatalieManor.com or call 800-666-2230 and ask Sandy to set us up a time to speak with each other. 

Thank you.  Many of you have forwarded our Roadmap to others.  That is really a very nice vote of confidence in  and the information we like to provide to help you build your leadership excellence. 

Below are articles from Dave Liddell and Natalie Hoffmann which help to complete February’s Roadmap to Listening theme.  It is my pleasure to introduce to you Dave Liddell our VP of Performance and Strategy and Natalie Hoffmann our Operations Director with generation X point of view. 

The Roadmap for March is all about excellence in Communication.

2. Strategic Planning and the Art of Listening

By Dave Liddell, , VP of Performance and Strategy 

You may ask “how do strategic planning and listening go together?” Strategic planning happens when a group of senior executives lock themselves in a room for three days to come up with a plan that will outline the direction of the company and the working lives of the their employees for the next 12-18 months. Listening is for those people doing the work! 

Not so fast ……..as a matter of fact, if performed effectively the roll-out of an effective strategic planning process should include more listening, by those building the plan, than directing. The first, and often the most important, step in the planning process is gaining a thorough understanding of an organization’s ‘current situation’. What is going well and not going well within the organization? What are the external threats facing the organization and potential opportunities for progress and growth?  

Most senior management teams have a clear understanding of where they want to take their company and the external factors that will challenge them however the same can not always be said about their view of the internal workings of their company – specifically the culture, systems, structure, and core process. This is why listening is critical. Who is better suited to provide feedback on performance improvement than the people making the day-to-day decisions and doing the actual work? This step requires asking the right questions (interviews, surveys, questionnaires) of right people (yes – the employees) and truly listening to what is being said. What is the intent of their feedback? Read between the lines if necessary – is there a hidden meaning? One of the biggest challenges for senior executives is not receiving the necessary feedback from their employees to proactively improve their business. This is also known as CEO disease. Very few employees want to be the messenger of bad news – if a CEO asks “how is the business running” the typical answer is “great”. 

Listening is also extremely important when the senior management team is behind closed doors defining their strategy and answering these questions – What is our core ideology? What is our most realistic future situation? What is our competitive advantage? What is our strategic direction? What are our most important initiatives? How should we measure our success? A trap that many executive teams fall into is groupthink. Often, great ideas never surface or die on the table because effective listening is absent. Dominant personalities too often win and drive the planning discussion over a cliff. Studies indicate that the most telling characteristic of an executive’s success is their ability to influence others – this starts with effective listening followed by invigorating and collaborative dialog to reach the best conclusions. 

To learn more about strategic planning follow this link: http://www.skye-solutions.com/pdfs/resource-planning_your_business_success.pdf 

3. Listening and the Next Generation…the Golden Rule of Listening

By Natalie Hoffmann, , Director of Operations 

Have you ever heard of the Golden Rule of Listening?  I was a junior in high school in Mrs. Jones honors English class the first time I heard about it.  We were placed in teams to present a project The Grapes of Wrath that we read over the summer.  We had to come together as a group, share our chapter journals and develop a consensus on what we thought the book was about.  We would present our findings to the rest of the class.   

My group’s first project meeting didn’t go well.  We all argued about our feelings and findings about the first chapter making quite a ruckus at the back of the room.  Mrs. Jones came over to see what our big fuss was about.  We all began to talk at once trying to tell her the issue.  She called the entire class to attention and explained the Golden Rule of Listening (GRL).  

She said being a good listener isn’t enough.  We all know how to be good listeners – make and maintain eye contact, don’t interrupt, maybe take a few notes so that you can ask questions when the person is done.  The GRL means that you are responsible for each other’s listening and that you come to the conversation with curiosity rather than judgment.  It means that when you speak it is in a tone of voice and demeanor that others can really hear what you are saying.  It means hearing the other person’s point of view as you would want yours heard.  This is the Golden Rule of Listening (GRL) – listen to others as you would want to be listened to. 

So you are thinking ‘well that is all well and good Natalie but how does that apply to business and more specifically generation X?’ The GRL applies now more than ever.  Today’s business world is fast paced.  Often it feels as though if you don’t move fast enough that you will be run over with demands and details.  Now more than ever we need to be clear about the focus and direction of our time and resources.  How do we do that? – by listening to each other.  Additionally, we have three and some would argue even four generations, currently in the workplace – the matures, the boomers, generation X and the beginning of generation Y.  All of these generations grew up in different timeframes, experienced life differently and have varied communication styles and ways of relating to their world.  

How do we build a bridge to this ever widening gap of increased speed and decreased communication?  Whether you are in the process of strategic planning or in a routine staff meeting, listening to each other is that way to move your business forward.  Lower and midlevel(s) of the organization need to be listening to the top because this is where your direction filters down from.  The top of the organization provides the “what” and “where” of the direction your organization will take.  Here is the kicker though.  In great organizations that have applied the GRL it is the lower and midlevel of the organization that provides the “how”.  Lower and midlevel(s) of organizations are often expected to apply the GRL just by virtue of where they are in the organization.  They are expected to listen with curiosity and without judgment, to speak in a tone of voice that others can hear what you are saying and listen as they would want to be listened to.  That is the catch – is the lower and midlevel of your organization being listened to? 

The boomers (46-65) and the matures (65-85) grew up differently than generation X did, they like different music and seem to have a different value set then our generation.  If you are like most companies in the U.S., the mid to lower levels of your organization are comprised of the up and coming generation X.  This generation holds a wealth of knowledge and energy that can help propel your organization into this next century and beyond.  Use the GRL to engage this next generation of leaders and leave a lasting legacy for your organization. 

Here is some advice for those generation Xers, you and I.  Listen and listen well.  Apply that GRL at every moment of your professional life.  The generations that have come before you also have a wealth of knowledge to share.  Ask lots of questions and be curious.  Soon enough you will be where they are in your organizations and having knowledge of the their stumbling blocks and successes will make you that much more able to handle the demands and details as a next generation leader. 

So apply the GRL from the bottom up and the top down of your organization’s and be truly responsible for each other’s listening.  In my short and varied life experience, it has always served me well.  If you have any comments or questions or would like to share your “Golden Rule of Listening” story send me an email at Natalie.Hoffmann@NatalieManor.com

4. ’s Resources for your Listening Roadmap

Isn’t it great when you can find all of the resources you need on a certain subject in one place?  Well we thought that we would do just that for you around listening.  Below are four resources for navigating your Roadmap for Excellence in Listening.

“Your listening tips sheet is such a great resource.  I printed it off and have it on my bulletin board above my desk.  I have used it several times to check my listening when I am on the phone.  In fact it has been so helpful that I printed off ten copies and gave it to every member of my team!”  -Christina Thomas, Director of Public Relations

Download your copy here: "Effective Listening for Leaders Top Ten Tips"

3. ’s Listening Test

Have you ever wanted to test your listening skills?  What about testing the listening skills of your team?   has a great resource for seeing how well you listen.  Take our listening test online and receive your score instantly!  Go to www.NatalieManor.com/listeningtest and take ’s listening test today! 

Now you can take ’s tips and techniques around effective listening with you anywhere anytime.  Since February is Effective Listening month at  we are offering our “Effective Listening for Leaders” CD at a special discount for all you who subscribe to our newsletter.  With your special coupon code offer ’s “Effective Listening for Leaders” CD/MP is now just $29.97 that is a 50% savings off of the regular price of $59.97!  Go to www.NatalieManor.com/shop and click on “Effective Listening for Leaders”.  Once you login into the  Shop type this coupon code right below your credit card information. EFL022807.

Could you use some support in your performance management and leadership competencies?  The  Team and I would be delighted to be a resource for you in building and navigating your Roadmap to Leadership Excellence in your organization.  Give us a call at 800-666-2230 or email us at Success@NatalieManor.com. We’d love to be a resource for you and your organization.

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The Team

, Natalie Manor & Associates

, Natalie Manor & Associates is an organization of consultants, corporate trainers and executive coaching professionals who provide measurable results for our clients in the areas of Leadership, Communication, Strategic Planning and Cultural Development.  To inquire about ’s executive coaching, speaking, customized training, facilitations and seminars for your group or organization, or to schedule an initial consultation, contact us at: Success@NatalieManor.com

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