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Communication clues…making them work for you!
By Natalie R. Manor
This last week has been filled with my clients having a difficult time with their communication for one reason or another. They did not think they were being particularly effective and wanted to check in and get some help. Even the most successful communicator can have their bad moments.
Here is some of what we discussed and some really good points for you to use and try particularly when you have to deliver information that is difficult or negative.
Delivering and receiving difficult information successfully is not an art, it is a practice. As successful leaders and managers, we practice this skill daily, sometimes hourly depending on the day and the issue.
There are ten (10) top techniques for managing how we communicate information successfully. We will cover the first five this week and the second five in next week's newsletter. The first five (5) techniques for managing how we communicate information are:
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Focus - What do you want the value or outcome of your communication to be in a given situation or process?
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Engage - What is your contribution to the success of the communication?
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Get curious - How did a situation get to this point and how can you make it better?
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Create rapport - Make sure how you deliver information or communicate is done in a way that people are in rapport with you.
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Increase performance - What would be most important to you about improving your performance; the performance of others; the performance of the situation?
So, let’s put this altogether so you can take this information and easily begin to use it in your daily communication. This is truly the point of our newsletter – to be a resource to you and provide you with information that helps you be effective so you can produce sustainable and measurable results.
The best preparation you can do in order to communicate – whether the information is difficult or not – is to FOCUS on what you want from the communication. Once you are clear with your intentions and outcomes, you will automatically become clear with your communication. A natural side affect of creating focus and clarity is that you feel more confident about the information and the process.
Now that you are FOCUSED on your outcome, you ENGAGE with the person or the group in a confident way. You deal with confident leaders all the time, they inspire, are respected and trusted. You become one of those leaders who is trusted and respected when you confidently ENGAGE in communication with a FOCUS on the outcomes.
So what happens if your prep does not work? Get CURIOUS. If you receive negative feedback or pushback from your communication and/or delivery of information, it tends to make us feel negative…we react. However, if you get CURIOUS about why people think or feel the way they do, it is very difficult to be mad. You become a better listener and a better communicator when we look to find out why people are pushing back or negative. Here are some good questions:
"I can see that you are really invested in your opinion, what is it that would help make this clearer for you?"
or…
"I can hear that this is creating a difficult situation for you, is there something that I've said or presented that created that?"
With your attitude of communicating in a CURIOUS way, you can see that the emotion is eliminated; you get to hear what is important from the other person/people and you are perceived as someone who is cool under fire.
Creating RAPPORT is something we do naturally and easily with our best relationships. It is an ease, a way of listening and responding that lets the other people we are communicating with feel at ease. What we naturally do without even thinking about it is what we need to do when the communication is not working as well or easily. Change your body to indicate you are listening. Put your work away and make eye contact. Use your body and voice as acting interested. That is rapport. You can create rapport with everyone easily. Just become aware of how you are when you are reacting or communicating and you will be able to change to fit the situation.
Last, but not least, is INCREASING PERFORMANCE. I guarantee that if you FOCUS on the outcome of your communication, ENGAGE in a way that is positive for the people and the project, get CURIOUS when things don't seem to be going as well as you would like and CREATE RAPPORT so others feel listened to and respected, you will automatically create an atmosphere of trust and respect.
The number one characteristic that is present in the best relationships and high performing organizations and teams is trust. In the thousands of people we have trained, I can tell you that trust in groups, organizations and with individuals increases the performance every time.
FOCUS, ENGAGE, GET CURIOUS, BUILD RAPPORT and INCREASE PERFORMANCE.
Enjoy your communication tools and enjoy honing those leadership and management skills by beingable to deliver any and all information in a profoundly effective way.
Next week we will review the final five (5) techniques for managing how we communicate information successfully to add to your tool box so you can build your leadership Roadmap easily and with great skill.
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