Delivering
Difficult Information Successfully
By: Natalie R.
Manor, CEO
Do you dread having to
tell someone something that you feel is not going to
be welcomed? You are not alone in dreading approaching
tough subjects, procrastinating, or avoiding problems
all together. No one likes to be the bearer of bad tidings
or have to play the heavy. It is possible, however,
to learn how to deliver difficult information in a positive
way so that everyone comes away with better insight
and information. You can learn how to approach tough
situations in a positive manner and arrive at positive
outcomes for productivity and team building. It is all
in the way you handle delivering difficult information.
There are many barriers
to addressing problems in a timely manner. We cringe
when we have to be the bearer of ill tidings such as
a layoff or a reprimand, but you can learn how to not
only identify the barriers that you face but also to
nullify them and create a positive environment. Something
we don’t often consider is the fact that all information,
even good information, can be difficult to deliver at
times. The barriers we fear such as encountering ill
will or interrupting project time lines can cause us
to delay communicating, actually making the situation
worse. If you recognize these barriers and know how
to overcome them, you will be a better, more effective
leader.
There is actually a formalized
process for addressing sticky situations with proven
techniques that create a positive, productive environment
and improve communications. Trust and respect impact
all relationships and you can build those characteristics
into professional relationships that are productive.
That formalized process is a seven-step process on how
to deliver difficult information to make sure that positive
outcomes occur for everyone. Part of that process is
not only knowing what to say, but what to ask.
In any communication, there
are some key questions that can open up communication
and bring clarity to the information that is being communicated.
Top leaders know the key questions that consistently
establish rapport, focus on outcomes, minimize emotions,
and pinpoint actions that need to be undertaken. These
key questions can be used in all communications, not
just when addressing sticky situations or problems that
arise. Having those key questions at your fingertips
and knowing when to use them makes you more prepared
to deal with tense situations when they arise rather
than playing defense and trying to repair relationships
later.
Did you know being curious
can help you resolve problems and assist in keeping
emotions in check? Asking questions is a key technique
in getting to the core root of problems that arise.
A good example is the
situation that a key executive faced with a new manager
on his team. The new manager established good communication
with everyone within his division except one particular
project engineer. The project engineer had been with
the company for many years and had a very good work
record; however, since the new manager arrived, the
engineer was moody and spent too much time in the executive’s
office. The executive’s curiosity was piqued and he
brought the manager into his office to discuss the situation.
Their brainstorming and questioning revealed a very
simple cause of the problem – the project engineer did
not feel the new manager had the qualifications to do
the new job.
Upon this discovery, the
executive was able to discuss and share key information
with the engineer concerning the manager’s qualifications
– information which had not been fully disclosed before
to the engineer. Once the engineer was assured by the
information that the manager was capable and quality
would not suffer, the engineer and the manager actually
developed a strong working relationship based on mutual
respect and even became friends outside work.
By asking the right questions,
listening to the answers, and working together through
the communication process, the manager, the executive
and the engineer were able to work out the problem.
If the situation had been avoided or ignored, it would
have only worsened and perhaps other problems would
have arisen from it. The executive was able to address
the problem using the communication process he had learned
and realized a resolution that worked for everyone.
Key questions to
help in clarifying the communication process:
-
What would be valuable
for you to know about this difficult situation?
-
What would be an important
outcome as a result of our meeting? Conversation?
-
What information
do you think would be good for me to know?
-
What issues are you facing
that you think I can support you on?
-
What aspects of this situation are
frustrating for you?
-
How can I help to remove
any blocks to this issue and/or to help
with productivity?
You can see the tone of
these questions help to create a level playing field
so that all involved can keep the key information clear
and avoid anger and frustration.
You can learn how to hold
people accountable while still building and
maintaining high value relationships – both skills that
successful leaders understand and employ. First, evaluate
your track record of delivering difficult information.
Do you realize positive results in the end or do you
tend to burn bridges with your approach? By analyzing
how you currently deliver difficult information and
the results you attain will help you pinpoint areas
where you can improve or hone your skills.
Some of the areas with
which you struggle might include a lack of clarity both
in understanding the problem and visualizing the outcome.
Asking questions can help focus on the problem and asking
“what” and “how” questions can help you focus on the
end result that you wish to achieve.
Everyone has to deliver
information that is unwelcome, uncomfortable, or unexpected
but a highly effective leader learns how to do it so
the outcome is positive for all who are involved. Learning
the process of communicating difficult information and
doing so successfully is a leadership skill that can
be formalized, practiced, and integrated into a successful
career.
Here are the top 10 coaching
and communication questions you can use to produce a
successful outcome in any difficult situation. These
questions will help you to deliver difficult information
easily and successfully:
-
To focus – What do you want the
value or outcome of the situation to be?
-
To engage – What is your contribution
to this situation?
-
To get curious – How did this situation
get to this point and how can we make it better?
-
To build rapport – What do you want
the value or outcome of the situation to be?
-
To increase performance – What would
be most important to you about improving your performance?
Or the performance of this situation?
-
To relieve fear – Is there part
of this situation that creates fear for you?
-
To dig deeper – Is there anything
else…I should know?; you need to know?; that would
be helpful?; that would serve them?; that needs
to be said?
-
To set context - What pieces of
information do you think would be important for
me to know?
-
To create clarity – Is there anything
that I can clear up in this situation that would
help you understand what we are discussing?
-
To relieve judgment – What is your
opinion of this situation and how did you come to
that opinion?
Keep this top 10-list close
by and share it with your colleagues and team to help
relieve their stress around delivering difficult information
successfully.
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