Come
to the Edge...
By: Natalie R.
Manor, CEO
Come
to the Edge
by Guillaume Apollinaire
“Come to the edge.”
he said.
“We can't. We're afraid.” they said.
“Come to the edge.” he said.
“We can't. We will fall!” they said.
“Come to the edge.” he said.
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew. |
This poem is a favorite
of mine because it always reminds me that when I am
hiding or playing small, there is a distinct possibility
that I could also be flying.
I declare 2010 your year
to get clear, get confident and be effective. You have
to take the risk to spread your wings and fly in order
to do so.
One of the things that
holds many people back from taking the risk to fly is
their emotions. I have seen this time and time again
in my 24 years in coaching and consulting. It is time
to remove your fear around your emotions.
Emotions. What are we to
do with them? Can we never be safe from them? How about
the circumstances that cause these emotions like death,
love, disappointment or taking the risk to “fly”?
I wish you all these emotions
and more. I sincerely hope that you are NEVER immune
in any way from the visceral response of your emotional
essence. Emotions are what life really is about…a series
of circumstances that either ignite our imaginations
or chase us behind closed doors wracked with doubt.
We have all felt them.
At times, we feel them again when we are very sure we
are healed and way far away from the original kick in
the stomach. How about that love affair that happened
ever so long ago and yet you can still feel the burn
of the betrayal? How about the puppy that was hurt when
you were a child and you can still feel the soft fur?
What are those anyway?
Why do they get to sneak up on us and…WHAM…completely
control the moment, day or year?
That’s it you know. Control.
You want to feel what you want to feel when you want
to feel it. You do not want any sneak attacks when you
least expect it and when you feel you cannot handle
anymore weight on your scale.
Control is not yours, by
the way. It is an illusion. If your emotions did not
knock on your door, you would be bland and uninteresting.
I ask you, when would it
be convenient for you to feel badly? Sad? Lost? Shame?
Fear? Remorse? When we try to control our emotions too
closely they will find a way to get our attention.
Our emotions are the barometer
of how we are. They make us more humane, sensitive and
successful. They support us immensely when we do decide
to fly.
If you do not experience
loss, you would have absolutely no idea what is like
to gain.
Without sadness, you would
never feel joy.
Without fear, you would
not know when you were being brave by getting up in
the morning, so that you could take a big risk that
afternoon.
Your emotions are your
gifts. Moreover, sometimes they hold your control button
down so you can feel them.
In his poem, “On Joy and
Sorrow”, Kahlil Gibran says:
Your joy is your sorrow
unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter
rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.
Some may say that the depth
of the emotion is the depth of the lesson to be learned.
Many of life’s lessons are just too big in this moment
until we understand that we are big enough to learn
the lesson. Oddly, the bigger the lesson, the bigger
the next steps in creating success. The challenges for
creating success just do not seem as daunting after
we take the risk to fly.
The privilege of being
a business and life coach all these years is that I
have been on the inside with my clients “feeling” their
pain and their joy. I can tell you that much of their
learning came from unearthing the emotions they had
forgotten or stuffed because they are now “big deal”
business people. Many of my clients believed that feeling
or showing emotion is not allowed when you are successful.
These past weeks I have
had the privilege of holding many hands during very
difficult moments. Some of these moments were associated
with terrible pain and loss. Some of these moments were
associated with taking steps that they never thought
they could accomplish to complete goals that were impossible
just minutes before.
Emotions. We want to manage
them so we do not look stupid or step out of that place
called “control.”
Forget trying to control
your emotions. They will come and poke you because they
love you and they want to reveal to you who you truly
are.
There are people who think
if they cry, they will never stop. I guarantee, the
tears will stop when the cleansing is complete.
There are people who think
they will never stop being angry. They will, as soon
as the anger has been acknowledged as being important
and dealt with in a respectful way.
The best moments in my
life happened when I finally let myself “feel” my emotions
rather than trying to rein them in all of the time.
I learned to trust my emotions as I let them guide me
along my path to success.
My emotions, my faith and
the support of those who love me the most are what finally
pushed me off the edge. Incidentally, these are the
same things that catch me when I get scared and feel
like I am falling.
I have both confidence
and certainty that 2010 can be your year…
…The year you learn to trust your emotions rather than
controlling them.
…The year you take the risk to step off the edge and
fly.
Go fly. The edge will
always be there. So fly anyway.
© 2001-2010 Natalie Manor & Associates.
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Resolutions
are a wonderful way to start a year as long as they
are reasonable. Please don’t make a long list of everything
you are going to give up – it never works and it never
lasts. Natalie Jr. and I visited with Morgan and Amy
Lynn, the hosts of DayTime Tri-Cities, last week. We
chatted with them about how to create brilliant success,
both personally and professional, in 2010. You can see
the video clip of our time with Morgan and Amy Lynn
on the 
Topic:
“Business Finances and Success with Ease!”
with The Natalies and Julie Underwood, CPA and trusted
business mentor
Choose:
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